Tactical Frivolity
Who knew Tactical Frivolity was a thing? Yet I’ve been using it my whole life. I remember laughing and making jokes on the basketball court to defuse the competition/argument. Or at the dinner table. Or in the office. As the oldest daughter, it is my job to make the world run smoothly, right? (She says, half-laughing/half-crying) Anything is better than that awkward silence or that seething tension.
I come from a long line of strong anabaptists (on my father’s side) who have anti-violence as a core tenet. Who knew I’d end up working my whole adult life at an organization with Quaker roots? “Sargent York” captured my attention as a young child when we used to go to the library and pick out old black and white VHS to watch while eating our mac and cheese. The Civil Rights Movement held on to me long after I studied it in middle school. I was raised pro-life, which I also took to mean anti-death and violence.
When I worked at a youth center, I was the first person in the middle of the fight, pulling people apart and almost getting hit myself. Some fights ended because the person decided it wasn’t worth hitting me instead. I did end up getting punched in the face, but that was another story. I strongly believe that violence begets violence: it is never the solution. We have to be more creative than that.
I watched the 2020 protests from Brazil. I didn’t have to decide to be a part of them or not, because I wasn’t in the country. I was fighting my own battles, thousands of miles away. I watched January 6th unfold. I saw how people talked about protests and riots and changed their beliefs (and facts) on it when defending something they agreed with, or disagreed with. I’d never been to a protest myself. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be.
It is interesting when you realize that there was a line crossed. Most of the time I’ve found that I don’t recognize it until its past. When someone asks, “What was it that made you decide to finally stand up and say something?” I think many times it is many things that happened-a gradual process, and not one thing you can put your finger on. And then poof: you realize that you are ready to go to your first protest.
Unfortunately for me, it was February, and it was freezing. I didn’t last that long, and I wanted to use my arms to warm my body rather than hold a sign. Finding a parking spot took up way too much time and energy. I wrote, “It is repeating chants that are easy and lining up with people who care about all kinds of different things—some that you believe in, and some that aren’t your thing. It’s walking and then standing and then walking again. Cheering or booing on command. It is being glad you are not alone, and then not sure if you are in the right place.”
I also made a list of what I’d tell my kids before taking them to a protest:
1. There will be lots of signs. Some will be angry, some afraid, some mean, and some hopeful
2. Just because we go to a protest does not mean we agree with everything that is said and done
3. We protest because we feel that something is happening that is not right/just
4. Protesting doesn’t change things, but it lets people know we are serious about what we believe
5. There are a lot of really great people who protest. There are also unkind people at protests.
There was a different feel to the protest in October 2025. First of all, it was a beautiful fall day, which did wonders for my outlook on life. Next, it was set up more like a street fest, with booths where you could get information and see that people cared and were actually doing something positive in their communities, rather than gripe about the bad things/people in government. Also, every. Single. Speaker was respectful and kind, framing their words into positive action rather than ranting rage. I could clap and cheer for what they were saying with a clear conscience. When we sang the national anthem, I had tears in my eyes, and I was proud to be an American. We thanked all of the police officers there, for protecting the peace. And when I ran into someone I knew, it was a lot of joy.
Tactical Frivolity was a more creative way. It was a strategy used for specific reasons, and I put on my tutu gladly. It made me even prouder to be an American that evening when it was reported that at every. single. one of the protests around the USA, no arrests were made. It was a peaceful protest, and we laughed our way through it.