More than one Truth at the Same Time
What is it that makes it hard for us as people to hold more than one truth about a situation at the same time? I know we humans like thing to be black and white. We like to generalize and stereotype: it is easier. It helps us organize our thoughts and move on, without the nuance. It has been a busy time in our country. Recently, online, I said two different truths:
1. Charlie Kirk was horribly, publicly assassinated
2. Charlie Kirk was not perfect, and some of his rhetoric was used in unkind ways
While both of these things are true, the fact that I said both of them was unforgiveable to some people. I was told “Shame on you.” I was told that I was no different from those who were celebrating Charlie’s death. It made me wonder (if I were still a teacher) would I be turned in to the state hotline that was set up to denounce people who were celebrating Charlie’s death (Yes, there is a state hotline for turning in teachers).
A week later, online, I said two different truths:
1. Hamas is a horrible ideology that has destroyed their own people and should be ended
2. Horrible atrocities have been afflicted upon the Palestinian people, some of which was by some IDF soldiers and some Israeli people.
I was called extreme and dangerous. The same words that have meant visas, green cards and even naturalization should be revoked. Here are some important things to think about in these (and other similar) situations:
1. The second truth isn’t negating the first truth
2. The second truth isn’t saying the first truth is a lie
3. The second truth isn’t celebrating the horror the first truth stated
4. The second truth isn’t attacking the first truth
While the lesson learned here may be to not say these things online (shrug), we can also learn from these strong reactions to what I said. When someone says a second truth about something we say, it is important to ask a couple of questions:
1. Are they saying that to disagree with me, or to just clarify, or make a separate point?
2. Are they an ignorant or evil person, or am I just taking this personally?
3. Is it possible that they are seeing this from a different perspective rather than saying I am wrong?
When we are willing to be curious about what is being said, we may be able to see that they may be sharing a DIFFERENT truth than what I shared: something that is also true. It is natural to think that our truth is the most important, and other things are coming to attack it, or aren’t as important (and thus invalid). But be careful that in defending your truth you are not discrediting another truth.
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For those of us that are Christians, God calls us to a pretty high standard of truth-telling. He says to tell the truth in love. Because love gives us space to realize that maybe this person isn’t speaking lies. Maybe they aren’t denying the truth I have spoken: they are bringing up another truth I’ve never considered, yet. Love in the equation give us space to hope, to think the best of a person, rather than assuming the worst. It helps us to look for the common ground and realize there are probably more misunderstandings involved rather than nefarious conspiracies.
How to know I’ve left love out of my truth-telling:
1. I’m willing to cut off people who disagree with me
2. I’m angry at the person for disagreeing with me, rather than curious to understand why
3. I want to prove them wrong, rather than help them see truth
4. I feel vindicated at consequences they may have from their belief, rather than heartbroken that they have been deceived (this comes from Jeremiah, the weeping prophet)
For Christians, we can take this discussion further. When we leave love out of our truth-telling, it negates our Christian witness. I shudder what it does for our children, and how we are showing them what it means to be a Christian. But leaving love out of our truth-telling also reveals our idolatry. It shows everyone that we are holding that truth-telling closer to our hearts than obedience to Christ. I’ve stepped on some people’s idols in conversations. I’ve gotten better at recognizing it, and backing away: because that person isn’t fighting me, they are fighting what God wants to do in their life. I’ve stepped on the idols of immigration, vaccines, guns, Israel, and Charlie Kirk.
It is pretty noticeable because you are discussing a subject, and suddenly it becomes a personal attack. Suddenly, I was the enemy. I wasn’t (fill in the blank) enough: knowledgeable enough, Republican enough, Christian enough (yes, even my salvation has been doubted before). It was really clear really fast that we weren’t talking about the issue anymore. This was about something more: something that person cared about more than Jesus.
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It is a lot of work to tell the truth in love. It is a lot of work to hold more than one truth in your hand at the same time, and not take it personally when other people don’t think the truth you said is the MOST important truth. It is hard to be curious and figure out why someone might have a point in what they are saying too. It is hard not to turn to idols in our Christian life. But it is work that is worth it: it helps us break out of our echo chambers and unconscious stereotypes. It makes our life bigger and better. It helps turn strangers into neighbors, rather than neighbors into strangers.