My Thoughts about “The Missionary Kids” Book

“The Missionary Kids: Unmasking the Myths of White Evangelicalism” is a book that accelerated what I was learning as a missionary, and gave me the words for things I’d felt for years but couldn’t quite put my finger on. Holly Berkley Fletcher, the author, divides the book into four myths, which I feel are four things that every missionary must reckon with eventually (hopefully sooner than later, for the good of all of us): the myth of calling, multiculturalism, saints, and indispensability. The best thing would be to realize/identify/reckon with each of these things BEFORE going on the mission field, and the MKs are probably the best ones to teach us. This book is a gift that I would recommend to all missionaries, especially those in training. (You can read my favorite quotes here)

For me, I spent the first 5 years in Brazil struggling through my calling, and what it meant. Each of these issues—they are like onions, where you constantly peel away one layer to reveal another, and cannot back away from because of fear/ignorance/laziness—at the peril of your own soul. Coming “home” from missions brought me face to face with the lies I’d believed about indispensability, and the whole “saints” myth was one I’d started reckoning with many years ago. For me, reading the chapters on the myth of multiculturalism—I marked every. Single. Page.

My husband is Jamaican. My daughters were born in Brazil. I am American. That’s what we were THERE. Coming back HERE to America I realized we were now slapped with new labels: he was Black, they were mixed/unknown, and I was white. I wrote a book about it. I’ve been studying, learning, and trying to understand so many things about racism, immigration, prejudice. This book, “The Missionary Kids,” cracked it right open, peeled the onion another layer, and the tears came, as the tears do.

The funny/not funny thing is, I’ve been writing another book. A book to help families HERE live out missions practically right where they are. A book that had “Multicultural” in the title. I long to take so many of the really good things I learned THERE on the mission field, and apply them here. Every parent wants the best for their kids, right? And the best I know is THAT. In some ways, I feel a bit like a missionary kid myself, at least the way they were written about in this book. I was 21 when I started serving in Brazil, and feel like in some ways “grew up” there. In other ways, I feel like the imposter all over again: not really an MK, not really from Brazil, not really from here. Something more that I can attempt to fit into, but never really connect with, or be claimed by.

Before reading this book, I was waking up to the realization that most of the people HERE didn’t actually want apply what I learned THERE. Sure, most white evangelical families (the majority of where I speak/have influence) like the idea of missions, they like to invite me to speak about it, and many graciously and generously give to provide for the ongoing growth of missions. But when we actually get to the part of changing our own lives to fit the lessons that missions can teach us…I just feel like I keep hitting brick walls. Personally, I am dealing with grieving what I thought our country was, and stood for, as I see the majority of those white evangelical families supporting this current administration, and how they treat and speak about immigrants. I was celebrated as a good missionary for how I spoke out and acted THERE, I am shushed and told to stop being political when I do the same things HERE.

I need to keep writing this book, at least for me. And I grasp at the hope and knowledge that there are others God is working in and opening their eyes to these same things. Who are willing to pick out the unhealthy things from the pile that we’ve been told is “Missions.” I know there is a lot of baggage around the word “deconstruct,” so I will use the word “detangle” instead. This book is a great tool for everyone who is ready to pull at the threads that we’ve added to missions that God never put there. Yes, it is scary, because you don’t know where the thread will stop. It feels uncontrollable. But this is what I know: you aren’t unraveling the sweater of Christ. He doesn’t need you to keep that all together. This is about detangling those extra threads we’ve added as humans that were never supposed to be there in the first place, and are choking us. Are you ready to face the lies around calling, multiculturalism, saints, and indispensability?

I hope so. Because PLEASE, do not go into missions if you’re not ready to face these things FIRST. If you are not able to look the MKs in the face and see the BS they are calling out, please don’t go. If you are on the field already and feel too exhausted to face these issues, I get it. But please know, that reveals the extent of the problem. You ignore it to the detriment of your own soul, and the peril of your children’s souls. For the rest of Christianity, missions was never meant to be divorced from where you are now. May we be brave enough to listen to the ones who have a critique and an answer.

“If we are going to build a multiracial society, which is our only hope…then one has got to accept that I have learned a lot from you, and a lot of it is bitter, but you have a lot to learn from me, and a lot of that will be bitter.” –James Baldwin