My Best Poems
Call this a “Poem dump.” I want to put them here. I wrote a lot between age 16-26. I still sometimes write a poem, but they are much more rare nowadays.
1. First poem—1998
All alone On my own In a crowd of people
All pass by Don’t see that I Am so depressed
No one cares No one shares In a crowd of people
I cry Not knowing why No one has hurt me
But can’t they see That I’m not me In a crowd of people?
Won’t they stop Before I drop Listen and ask why
Why can’t I Just explain the way I feel
It is stuck inside And like the tide Will it come out
Someday Someway In a crowd of people?
If I tried Could I be satisfied In a crowd of people?
God I know You’re there Why can’t I Remember?
I know You’re near Ready to hear In a crowd of people
When I’m down I’ll turn to you You’re my crowd of people
2. Silence
As I struggle to put Thoughts to words And words to paper
To explain how much I want to help How much I care
I see the problem I know the answer But I am scared and afraid Will you listen?
I stare out into space My own problems Rushing in my face
Who am I To tell you anything?
Is it my place to say something Or keep silent
Will you see the hypocrite in me And reject any truth I might have?
Lord, teach when to speak Teach me how to talk Let each word be formed by Your will
Help me see When they are ready
Give me the strength to stand alone
The grace to walk forward
The mercy not to trip
And the boldness to Hold my head up
3. Digging
Dig a little deeper For me I am lost and alone Keep searching for me
I am under the bush Pushed in the corner Kicked casually away By another
I tried yelling out Lost my voice Along with my hope
Here I stay Until found Dig a little deeper For me
Please do not give up I am right beyond Your reach Waiting for you
To dig a little deeper Take a bit more time Keep holding on I am coming
4. Beloved
Your wounds Are mine To earn
Your stripes Are mine To gain
Your way Is mine To learn
Your words Mine to make Plain
Precious in Possession
I am Yours And You Are mine
5. Motorcycles
Riding a moto Vibrating Across the cobblestones
Windy black night Punctured With white stars
Holding a shoulder Warm With security
Dangling a foot Loose With abandon
Slowing for lombadas Sporadically Placed
Watching him pass Contemplating Mysteries
Racing to a place Filled With belonging
6 2nd place
The rain darkening my shirt
The soft petals drifting down
I am silent But grass is moving around
The people passing Do not see me
Please press against me To see if I am real
They don’t even know
That I have no place to go
I am lost With fear hiding in My placid face
They don’t even know
That I have no place to go
Home is far And rest is lying Farther still
7 Daily
When I say “I love you” It means that is Never going to change I am never giving up I will never leave I will never replace you
When I say “You are enough” It means I accept you As you are That you please me and Thrill my heart Even with seeing all Your faults I will cheer Every victory you have But they will not earn My love You already have it
When I say “You are beautiful” It means there is Something I see when I look at you That delights me in a way No one else can I don’t want to look away I don’t compare you to anyone else I don’t want you to Change a thing
When I say “I forgive you” It means I’ve taken the pain You caused And paid the price Of your choices You are free With the power to forgive Yourself and others I won’t use your past against you To shame you into doing right
When I say “I am proud of you” It means I boast about you To others Because you make me smile I know you are going To do something amazing Each day you open Your eyes
When I say “I believe in you” It means that even if It looks like you’ve fallen and Won’t get up I look at you and see A miracle of what will be I connect my name with yours And you represent me to others
When I say “I have a plan for you” It means I not only took time To know you Completely But I found the thing that will Complete you More than any other And planned it for you I tell you these words Because I mean them
8.Control
I like things open Where I can feel it As I live it
I like pickup trucks Being one with the journey
Brick roads Feeling every break and beginning
Oceans Uncontrollable Dirt Where it is undiluted yet
Windows Letting in sunlight and rain
I don’t like Air conditioning
Caged in and everyone else locked out
Umbrellas Trying to hide from what comes down
Headphones Ending coversations before they start
Cell phones Interrupting As civilization congratulates itself
On forgetting how to enjoy What cannot be controlled
9 Stranded
The warm shallow water Where we sit and stare
At the bits of sand That used to be proud rocks
And say the things Buried in the corners of our hearts
Finding the shells Half hidden and caught In the brilliance of the sun
Holding our missing selves In our fingers loosely
10A Slice of Space
To wedge my frame in
Leaving a wake On the dusty road
Stepping over shoes that Pinch their toes
Knees knocking A friendly excuse
Butt cheeks balanced By the bodies of others
Lurching Kombi Turns my stomach
Learning forward I rest my elbows
Wind from cracked window Blows through the hair Of the wrinkled lady
And the wicked grin Of the boy next to me
My nose stings From the dark perspiration On dingy clothes
Sometimes it is good to know You are human
Surrounded by living beings
Butt cheeks balanced By the bodies of others
11. Balloon
You say So many pretty things
But I Have forgotten how to believe them
Imagining You coming after me
Shaking me Telling me It was only me But you never show
No one gets what we were Or are
And now I have forgotten as well
I don’t know how To believe you anymore
I used to be so secure In your love
Now I fill a balloon With your name on it
And really Let Go
12. No Helmet
He always makes me wear one
It boxes my head in Separated from the beauty and life around me
My head bobbles The strap cuts my chin
Knocking against the corners of my head That do not fit the contours
Open the flap, let in some breeze
The sweat has gathered Snap it shut again
When the dust is stirred On the highway It gives the illusion of protection
Even though I know one slip from the driver and I am dead
I imagine my leg in a tree Like he said he saw after an accident
But on the back roads When there is no helmet to be had
Freedom
I play the cowgirl as I swing my leg over the seat
The engine roars before I have a firm grasp on his shoulder
I love the sound of wind Brushing past my ears
Flying through nature The green that only tropics have
The blue that belongs to Brazil
The 4:30pm sun that doesn't burn and Leaves a haze over the sugarcane fields
The stones make my teeth chatter
The view makes my heart hurt
"I'm the lucky one" I whisper to myself And hope the feeling will never grow old
I turn my head and squeeze my eyes To hide from the dust blowing
The red dirt paints my skin My foot black dirt where my sandal was
My nose burnt with SPF 30
I wish I could put it on paper The way it really is Instead of random lines of words
That I tie together into a sentence
13. Harder
Why do I feel Like something beautiful In my life died
Why does it make Getting up in the morning Harder
Can continuing to love Be as beautiful as The love itself?
Is it an opportunity To dance in the moonlight
Is it a beautiful thing To live life with You
When did I stop Looking at the stars
When did the beauty Make my face turn away
When did the rain Feel like balm to my soul
Expressing emotions That I refuse to let loose
Continuing to love Is as beautiful as The love itself
It is an opportunity To dance in the moonlight
It is a beautiful thing To live life with You
14. Doors
As I watch My image Crumble before My eyes
Sometimes bit by bit Sometimes wall by wall They fall
The restlessness Inside me grows To build a new place To build a new me
Faced with a challenge I cannot ignore Looking down both paths And wondering which door
Break me again I’ve forgotten already
Now that I know What I am in for
You have taken Away the darkness And now it’s deathly bright
No place to get away
Waiting to grasp one thread When it breaks I’ll go Tomorrow Is not good enough
Faced with a challenge I cannot ignore Looking down both paths And wondering which door
15. Not Good Enough
A house without windows A hope without love A girl without a mother
Forgotten
How can it be In our world of pretty lights That one should be missing And no one notice
I can’t take it I don’t want to handle it
I will scream if one more person Tries to hide it under a rug
Drop tears Let your nose run But do not ignore it
Life is hard Life is unfair Some things will never Be able to reconcile
Do not let this be The only heaven You will have
Because for some This is the best It is going to get
It is not good enough For me
16. Listen
Speak less harshly You have so much more to learn
Be quicker to listen There is so much more to hear
Your world is so small And what you understand Is even smaller
Give the benefit of the doubt And maybe There is more to the story
There is someone hurting There is a need That only you can meet
And only if you Shut up and listen